News: Post-apocalyptic pet fashion

Why didn’t I think of it first?  I mean, sure, we are going to need companionship on the lonely wasteland treks, so why not get something that is both “rad” and functional?  Dave, over at gives us three options to choose from.  Rating both their coolness and utility.  I’m hoping for something large, semi-sentient and mutated, but… a tiger would also be awesome.

Night of the Comet (Guest Review by Patrick Merritt)

Samantha and Regina Belmont, two high school girls with Uzis. Its the end
of the world and all they want to do is go shopping and have a little fun.
However, there’s trouble on the way in the form of mutants, and crazy
scientists. Ah, Night of the Comet. I get cravings to watch this movie. This
movie is truly something I get nostalgic over.The thing that it has going
for it the most is this sense of “Hey the world is over, i can do whatever
the fuck I want and nobody is there to stop me!”. I watched this back when I
was a kid and the thing I remembered the most was Kelli Maroni. This girl
was an 80s B movie queen. She was on this movie, and another 80s popcorn up
all night great Chopping Mall! Now, some may not like it, but this was my
first post apocalyptic movie. I didn’t watch greats like the Mad Max series
till recently(damn I was missing out). Small part great Michael Bowen makes
an appearance, but this dude is Buck as in “Im Buck and I’m here to fuck”
the bride from Kill Bill. Then there is Catherine Mary Stewart, I can’t
think of anything else she’s been on but she sure does look an awful lot
like Linda Hamilton. Then there is Robert Beltran….Chakotay!!!! Oh and
that little asian girl played Gi on Captain Planet.

The intro is like one of those old 50s sci-fi movies, it has a narrator and
some sort of flawed explanation on what is about to happen. This sort of
thing was fading away in the 80s. it was cheesy, but was enough to set up
some events. The intro is a showcase of 80s culture, Regina Belmont is
playing an arcade game trying to have an uncontested score board when she
notices DMK has taken a spot. This sort of has a Back to the Future vibe. On
the other side of things her sister Sam is dealing with her cheating bitch
mother in law while their dad fights in some contra down in Honduras. Most
everybody goes out like lemmings, stare at the commet and get obliterated
like deers in headlights. The only thing left of cheating Doris is red dust!
The poor dog gets it too, and Reggie’s boyfriend quickly gets chomped down by
a mutant zombie. There are some great visuals of the empty city, with its
red dust. Pretty good stuff.

The mall scene was great, looting to great music, and then a mutant attack.
I thought the scientists were great, is it me but is the Dharma initiative
from LOST based on these guys. They wear like the same outfits and the logo
is nearly the same. They are fucking creepy, cold and calculated. That dream
Samantha had in the radio station scared the shit out of me as a kid. You
ever notice in good zombie flicks there is always a kid zombie that pops out
and gets killed. Dawn of the Dead 78′ had it, Night of the Comet had it, and
so did 28 Days Later. The movie wraps up nicely when we find out who DMK is.
“Great Car!” “Thanks! I have 23 of them”…”The burden of Civilization is on
us, okay?” “Oh, yeah. Bitching, isn’t it?” I’m pretty surprised this movie
got slammed by other reviewers. I would pretty much put it in the same
category in quality as Def Con 4, another great B post apocalyptic movie.
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Night of the Comet (1984) Starring: Robert Beltran, Catherine Mary Stewart Director: Thom Eberhardt
Night of the Comet (1984) Starring: Robert Beltran, Catherine Mary Stewart Director: Thom Eberhardt

Note: The “other reviewers” in this guest review refers to yours truly.  In my defense, I must have been drunker than usual when I originally reviewed Night of the Comet.  I’ll re-post my original review soon and then I promise to re-watch this gem and review it properly…. slightly sober.

Exterminators of the Year 3000

I’m sure this isn’t going to surprise you, but I loved Exterminators of the Year 3000. Basically, it is Road Warrior in Italian, for about 1/3 the budget. But noone is saying that isn’t a good thing. I’m so dumb that I could watch Road Warrior ripoffs till I die, and still think I was gettin the goods.
What made this movie different from Road Warrior was some of the following. 1) Water, not gasoline, is the precious fluid in this movie. 2) The car chase scenes are as good, or better, than the ones in Road Warrior… they really worked on these. 3) There are some good subplots, an evil temple of mutated water hoarders being one of the best.
What sucks is that it is dubbed… although this kind of adds a little atmosphere here and there. You can almost think you are watching a Godzilla movie. Also, the blood is cheesy as all get out. Now that I think about it, I think they were taking a stab at Mad Max with this movie too. In the beginning, two rogue cops in a bitchin cop car go out to stop the freaks and bandits. They are killed in about 3 minutes.
Now that we are on the subject, this movie steals from everyone. I’m starting to think that I don’t really pay attention when I watch movies. My brain goes into T.V. mode. I can’t even hear you if you are talking to me, unless you say “Beer” or “Tacos”.
Exterminators in the Year 3000 (1985) Starring: Robert Iannucci, Alicia Moro Director: Giuliano Carnimeo
Exterminators in the Year 3000 (1985) Starring: Robert Iannucci, Alicia Moro Director: Giuliano Carnimeo
Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop.  I am no longer that person.  Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. 😉