Man, I thought Knights was really gonna suck. But, since it had cyborgs on the cover and looked post-apocalyptic, I decided it was my duty to watch it. What a surprise it turned out to be.

It stars an aged Kris Kristopherson… no wait… come back. It’s good, I swear. Apparently the Earth has been decimated by some cyborg mishap (I think one of them left the stove on). Anyway, Kris is a cyborg and also a cyborg hunter. You can imagine the wacky situations he gets into. He also has a cute sidekick who tries to bring out his human side, and so on and so forth. It reminded me a lot of Beastmaster…. only, not that good really.

The fighting in this movie is pretty rad. Although, be forewarned that it is a leaper movie. You know, everyone flying through the air. Bad guys, getting punched back 50 ft. Etc. Still, I really enjoyed it. The end, however, really, really sucks. I think they ran out of money… because they just tell you what would have happened in the end if you had been able to see it. But all in all, it’s better than Ghost.

Knights - Starring: Kathy Long, Kris Kristofferson Director: Albert Pyun
Knights - Starring: Kathy Long, Kris Kristofferson Director: Albert Pyun

Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop.  I am no longer that person.  Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. 😉