Dawn of the Dead (1979)

I been saving this one till the end. Dawn of the Dead has everything! Not only is it post-apocalypse (and not even by Nuclear War), it is also one of the goriest movies ever. O.K., O.K. Maybe you never seen it... I'll fill you in.

It's part two of Night of the Living Dead. Zombies have taken over the world. Some hapless adventurers flee in a helicopter and manage to take over a mall. Bikers come in and try to fight them. Most of them die. They escape in the end. The End.
But man, it's so much more than that. They manage to secure the mall and rid it of zombies. Then it is like a scavengers dream come true. They make whatever food they want. They loot the gun and knife store for all of its wares. I mean, they have everything they could ever want. Of course they get bored of it all, which isn't surprising, but I think I could've handled it. Just let some zombies in every now and then and hunt for them. Sheesh. Maybe take up a hobby, like naked turtle racing.

Dawn of the Dead (Ultimate Edition) (1979) Starring: David Emge, Ken Foree Director: George A. Romero
Dawn of the Dead (Ultimate Edition) (1979) Starring: David Emge, Ken Foree Director: George A. Romero

Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop.  I am no longer that person.  Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. 😉


12 Monkeys

Terry Gilliam is a genius. Plain and simple. I remember as a kid that Time Bandits always freaked me out everytime it was on HBO, but I couldn't turn it off. It was so creepy and dirty looking. Then came Brazil (or at least, that's the order I saw them in) and my fear was replaced with confusion. I still don't completely understand Brazil, but I'm sure that doesn't surprise you, I hardly understand the Dukes of Hazzard. Anyway, I had very, very high hopes for this here monkey movie... and I wasn't disappointed.
This is neat because we can see the world from all sides of the apocalypse; before, during and after. The future looked great. Reminded me a lot of City of Lost Children, as far as the neat devices and low-tech gadgets went. (I think the trick to make those look neat, is to make them brassy). Anyway, apocalypse by plague, which is always a nice change. And I really liked the actors... yes, yes, I know that Brad Pitt was in it, but I thought he did pretty good. We can argue about it later.
Like I was saying, 12 Monkeys makes you feel dizzy and almost nauseous, during and afterwards. I took that as a sign that it was actually affecting me, rather than my usual movie-watching state. (i.e. Beer, Popcorn, Bathroom, Beer) I mean, I was really interested in what was happening. So, I recommend this one through the roof. If you want a really disturbed, but fun, evening, then get this one and City of Lost Children in one night. I guarantee you will feel weird afterwards. Just remember to pay very close attention. There is much you will miss otherwise.
Doh! I almost forgot. I wanted to ask peoples opinion on the dream sequence. You know, how the guy with the briefcase who gets shot is always different? My theory is that they were actually changing time with their actions, even though they didn't think this was possible. Or, maybe Bruce Willis just had a lousy memory? Let me know what you think.

12 Monkeys (1995) Starring: Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis
12 Monkeys (1995) Starring: Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis

Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop. I am no longer that person. Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. 😉

City Limits

I saw City Limits in its MST3K version. And thank god for that. I would have had to question my desire to continue in this project if I had seen this turkey in its regular form. You know what is wacky though? It has James Earl Jones in it... What the hey? Also, its got Kim Katrell , grrrrrrr. Of course Croooow was going wacky all over her. He's in love you know.
Anyway, on to the movie. It was death by plague which was nice to see. Considering the lack of ideas in this film, you would have guessed they would have copped out with Nuclear War. But, that's about as far as the originality went. Oh yeah... plague... O.K. Anyway, only kids are left, for the most part, and they form roving motorcycle gangs which divide the city and rule according to issues of the comic book "Insect Man".
I know what you are going to say, "So what's the bad part?" Don't make me bludgeon you with sausage... Because I will do it.
I wish I could remember more of Joel and the Robots dialogue, cause they worked this movie up and down. I do remember two things; 1) They went off on this tangent about creating their own super heroes which ruled, and 2) They make fun of the standard Post-Apoc convention of theme costumes. With 1) They had some gems, like "Really Deep Man! -- he's realllly deeep man". And "Man Man! -- All the powers of a normal man, but he's a man." That killed me. For 2) Joel made some crack like, "We gotta get more theme costumes, these guys are kicking our butts." This was because the bad guy bike gang were equipped with Napoleon costumes and junk like that. The good guys just looked like Soundgarden or something.
Anyway, unless your friend has a copy of this on video from Joel and the bots, don't bother. It will make you wanna poke your eyes out with cocktail franks.

City Limits (1985) Starring: Jennifer Balgobin, Kim Cattrall
City Limits (1985) Starring: Jennifer Balgobin, Kim Cattrall


Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop.  I am no longer that person.  Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. 😉