Old Review: Night of the Zombies

You know, I never claimed to be the brightest guy in the world. In fact, I may just be right above Jim Varney. Anyway, I just saw this 4 days ago and I can't remember if this is the name of the movie or not. I'll go back and check, but I figured I'd point out my idiocy to you all.

Anyway, on to the movie. This is your basic, Italian zombie movie. Only, they didn't have much money for special effects, and they didn't have much money for film, and they really didn't have much money for actors either. I say this for several reasons. 1) There is more gratuitous usage of stock footage than even an Ed Wood movie. I think they managed to get ahold of a national geographic special on tribes and junk. Because they aren't picky, there are pygmies, aborigines, massai warriors... you name it. But they are all supposed to be one group. 2) The zombies are just people with black-face on. Unless they are black, in which case they have blue-face one. I swear I am not making this up. 3) In a scene with a device that is measuring something or other, the readings go "off the scale". This is accomplished by the actor carrying the device. He merely turns the little knob by the needle and makes it go "off the scale". This was actually pretty dang funny. The plot is simple, zombies, tribal anarchy, eco-terrorists, mother earth revolting, the military and the press. Doesn't that all sound like it should fit together? Heh heh... blew my mind I tell you. There was nudity in this movie though... just a touch. For some reason, the heroine in the movie decides she needs to strip naked and paint her body, to better relate to the natives... They still tried to eat her. You may be wondering what this all has to do with the Apocalypse? Well, that's fair enough I guess. You see, the earth is mad, so it makes a nuclear power facility (or some such junk) leak poisonous gas. This gas makes everyone turn into zombies and eat the living. Pretty soon, almost everyone is dead. OK.. it's weak, but I'm still counting it.
Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop.  I am no longer that person.  Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. ;)

Hell of the Living Dead Hell of the Living Dead

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P.S. No, I didn't link the wrong movie. This movie is apparently also known as Virus, Zombie Creeping Flesh and Hell of the Living Dead.

Short Video: “Nuclear Coleslaw” (It’s got hookers!)

So, I got an e-mail over the weekend that I almost just deleted because it was so short that it looked like spam. I'll show you what I mean:

Thought your readers might like this clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw1Vh9Yzryo

Its part of a series we're developing.

Enjoy.

Tim

P.S.  Like your site.

Thank heaven's that I didn't delete it, and, instead went to watch the 6+ minute short.  It's pretty damn RAD!

As a guy who has watched way too many post-apocalyptic movies, I can say, without exaggeration, that this short film is better than at least 50% of the full-length PA movies I have ever seen.  Of course, the real trick will be to keep this momentum going in the rest of the installments.  But, I think these guys will be able to pull it off.

I went scrounging around their Youtube page trying to gleam any more information about this project and the only thing I found was this:

A post-apocalyptic dark comedy about a man trying to get some hookers. Part of a series entitled "Nuclear Coleslaw."

Well, at least this makes them mysterious!  Anyway, check out the video:

New Review: Pandorum

Pandorum was a nice surprise. I'm always in a good mood when I "accidentally" watch a post-apocalyptic movie. See, I just set out to watch what I thought was going to be a horror movie, or at least a "run from the monster" movie. So, I was delighted when I found out it was post-apocalyptic. Unlike the old me, I'm trying not to drop spoilers these days, so I'll be slightly general in this review. But, I'm much more sober than I used to be, so I might be accidentally more helpful as well.

Anyway, Pandorum features Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster as two crewmates who awaken from cryogenic slumber into a real shitshow. The mission of their ship (The Elysium) is to act as a seedship to colonize an earth-like planet. The earth, itself, is pretty much already ruined when they launch the Elysium, so it's the last hope for humanity. Anyway, they can't remember anything, everything is pretty much broken and... they aren't alone.

While I was watching this movie, I was trying to think what it reminded me. Sure, the comparison to Alien and Event Horizon are sort of obvious, but I was thinking more of sci-fi stories where an entire population is on some sort of world-ship or seed-ship and something goes wrong along the way. At first I was reminded of Phillip K. Dick's Maze of Death.  But, I knew there was something I'd read that was even more closely related.  So, I waded through my bookshelves this morning and turned up Starship by Brian W. Aldiss.

Now, it's been some years since I've read Starship, but I remember it being very similar to Pandorum.  In Starship, entire sections of the ship have grown over into lush jungle and the humans aboard have de-evolved into superstitious primates.  Anyway, there were a lot of similarities.

So, back to Pandorum.  Did I like it?  Sure.  Why?  Well, there aren't that many post-apocalyptic movies that take place entirely aboard a spacecraft, so that was nice.  Also, I went into it expecting very little.  It's like when I buy a pulp sci-fi book at the used book store based entirely on the cover.  I'm not expecting Foundation or Left Hand of Darkness, I just want it to keep me interested.  And Pandorum this and more.  I would have liked slightly less martial arts (if I can get picky) but there were plenty of other interesting aspects of the movie that allowed me to overlook some of the combat scenes.  (For example, one of the kill scenes is freaking brutal!)

Note: Anyway, as a result of watching, I'm not slightly obsessed about other sci-fi movies and books that share a similar concept.  So, if any of you guys can think of other examples, please let me know.  I'm remembering an  Ursula K. Lequin short short where it takes generations for the ship to get to the planet, but, by the time it arrives, no one wants to be explorers anymore.  They are all scared of the anything outside of the ship, but I can't remember the name of that.

Pandorum [Blu-ray] Pandorum [Blu-ray]

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Guest Review: Judge Dredd by Boobookittyfrag

I AM DE LAW!!

Oh my god, they made a movie version of one of my favourite comics(if you're Scottish - you read 2000AD). WHY GOD WHY?
I was at a comic convention a few years ago, where the most popular event was the Judge Dredd screening, with commentary by Alan Grant(who has written it for years). We watched the opening montage of comics, and as soon as that had passed, Alan stopped the movie saying 'that's the best part in the movie' - yeah, he was right 🙂
We watched on, with Stallone dominating the majority of the screen, a friend sitting next to me recounted the tale of Stallone winning best actor at the french equivalent of the Oscars - he got up on the podium and just said 'uuuuh, merci' - he knew it was a stinker, we knew it was a stinker, and the french were obviously taking the mickey : )
I knew all was lost when Stallone took his helmet off( a helmet which Judge Dredd creator Carlos Esquerra couldn't put on because it was too small!!!!) - old stoneface never took his helmet off in the comics, but the studio obviously needed their Stallone dollar - why i oughtta!! The only good things in the movie were Mean Machine - who was true to form, the cameo by ian dury(that's a lawgiver!! take your bleedin arm off!), and the lil in-jokes for 2000ad readers - like the chopper smiley on the statue of liberty(blink and you'll miss it!) Other than that, it's a stinky little Stallone vehicle that should be avoided at all cost!!

Editor's Note: You'll notice I'm not linking to this movie at all. Yup, that's on purpose. I will however show off some rad comics and graphic novels!

Judge Dredd: Case Files 01 Judge Dredd: Case Files 01
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Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files 2 Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files 2
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Judge Dredd: Complete Case Files 05 Judge Dredd: Complete Case Files 05
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Judge Dredd: The Cursed Earth Uncensored Judge Dredd: The Cursed Earth Uncensored
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Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files 03 Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files 03
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