News: ‘Web-bot project’ predicts 2012 apocalypse

Well, computers are always right.  So, it looks like we've got a firm date for the last days.  Some folks credit this little bot with predicting 911.  Something tells me that if you announce that some sort of apocalypse is going to happen on December, 2012, that interested parties are going to do their best to make it happen.  Way to go, web-bot, ya jerk!

‘Web-bot project’ predicts 2012 apocalypse - 2012 News

Review: The Last Days of Planet Earth

Holy crap, The Last Days of Planet Earth was kooky. It's Japanese, first of all, and I'm guessing that it was made-for-t.v. Anyway, if I had to say what the cause of the apocalpyse is in this movie, I'd have to say Nostradamus. Yeah... that's right... Nostradamus.  Or, if you want me to get specific, then it'd be apocalypse by Giant Slugs, Radioactive Bats, Pollution, Radiation, Nuclear War, Riots... sheesh. See, they just show what the world would be like if all of his predictions come true... Yep, it's a whopper. The movie is a little slow at times, but just wait a few mintues and you'll be greeted with happy surprises like mutant hopping children, and leeches the size of your arm.
The really big plus to The Last Days of Planet Earth is the theme music. I liked it so much that i'm making a new band that will only do sci-fi movie themes... or originals that sounds just like them. "Theme from Last Days of Planet Earth" will be our first song. It's got this wacked-out theremin going, or some other noise that sounds like that spooky woo-woo junk you hear in scary movies. Fantastic.
Little things about this movie boggle me. I can't imagine how it got made and why they did some things they way the did. I mean, there are huge explosions (albeit in miniature.. but still) and then there are big car crashes and junk... so obviously they weren't entirely broke when they made it. But, then when the radioactive bats swoop down and attack, they have visible strings all over the place. Maybe this is a joke? But I really doubt it. Anyway, no matter what you are expecting, this movie will blow you away... just maybe not in the way that you are expecting.

Last Days of Planet Earth (1979)
Last Days of Planet Earth (1979)

Future Kill

From the cover of Future Kill I didn't know what to expect. Actually, the cover of the copy I got was made of lined paper. But the regular cover looks like a Giger painting. Anyway, I figured it would be aliens and junk. Instead, it was like a cross between Revenge of the Nerds and Road Warrior or something. I thought it was pretty bitchin. Here is my guess on the origins of the film.
It's the 80's, DEVO is huge. A couple of geeky kids from Athens want to make a movie. Not only that, but they want to get back at all the fraternity kids who've pushed them around. Why not put a bunch of new wavers in the film and have them kick the crap out of a bunch of jocks and preps? Sounds brilliant to me. This movie also had a little gratuitous nudity, which always helps. This movie also had new wave bands up the ass. I mean really good ones. I swear, one of the chicks was the chick from X.
Anyway, rent this movie. Splatter (the villain) is rad, and i think it's pretty subtle in its ridicule of the Greek system. Of course, Smokey and the Bandit was too cerebral for me.
You know, this movie may or may not be post-apocalyptic... but it is in the future and people dress like new wavers and road warriors. Let's say I just relax my standards and make it count...

Future-Kill (1985) Starring: Edwin Neal, Marilyn Burns Director: Ronald W. Moore
Future-Kill (1985) Starring: Edwin Neal, Marilyn Burns Director: Ronald W. Moore

Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop.  I am no longer that person.  Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. 😉

Exterminators of the Year 3000

I'm sure this isn't going to surprise you, but I loved Exterminators of the Year 3000. Basically, it is Road Warrior in Italian, for about 1/3 the budget. But noone is saying that isn't a good thing. I'm so dumb that I could watch Road Warrior ripoffs till I die, and still think I was gettin the goods.
What made this movie different from Road Warrior was some of the following. 1) Water, not gasoline, is the precious fluid in this movie. 2) The car chase scenes are as good, or better, than the ones in Road Warrior... they really worked on these. 3) There are some good subplots, an evil temple of mutated water hoarders being one of the best.
What sucks is that it is dubbed... although this kind of adds a little atmosphere here and there. You can almost think you are watching a Godzilla movie. Also, the blood is cheesy as all get out. Now that I think about it, I think they were taking a stab at Mad Max with this movie too. In the beginning, two rogue cops in a bitchin cop car go out to stop the freaks and bandits. They are killed in about 3 minutes.
Now that we are on the subject, this movie steals from everyone. I'm starting to think that I don't really pay attention when I watch movies. My brain goes into T.V. mode. I can't even hear you if you are talking to me, unless you say "Beer" or "Tacos".
Exterminators in the Year 3000 (1985) Starring: Robert Iannucci, Alicia Moro Director: Giuliano Carnimeo
Exterminators in the Year 3000 (1985) Starring: Robert Iannucci, Alicia Moro Director: Giuliano Carnimeo
Note: This original review was written sometime during 1996-1997, when I was a drunken, twenty-something nincompoop.  I am no longer that person.  Or, that is to say, I am in my thirties now. 😉